So to be a therapist, a qualified one at least, it takes YEARS of training. As it should do. I mean your essentially paying someone to explore the inner workings of your mind. To discuss with you, your deepest, darkest, scariest, quirkiest thoughts. The thoughts you feel like you can't tell anyone. The thoughts you think make you sound crazy or would change people's opinions of you. Those thoughts.

I started my road to qualifying in 2012 and passed my foundation degree in 2017. That's 5 years of study working my way from level 2 through to level 5. That wasn't enough for me though, I needed to keep learning and growing and developing, so I continued on to do a further degree and achieved a level 6 qualification (a BSc with honours), I swore I would never study another day in my life as I sat writing my dissertation and within five hours of handing it in, I had signed up for the masters in psychological trauma. I'm either passionate or a glutton for punishment, at this point I am not sure which? Perhaps an element of both applies?!

Different people study and achieve in different ways. Some study for weeks on end, read thousands of books, spend endless nights completing assignments and neglecting sleep. I am not one of these people. Over the years of studying, I have realised that my very best work is achieved in a blind and frantic panic hours before the deadline.

The downside of this approach is that the more I do well, the closer to the deadline I seem to be before I start any work. I like the thrill and the rush that comes with the sheer panic days before the deadline when I'm staring at a blank page wishing I would have started weeks ago and ultimately knowing I will make the deadline. That feeling when the assignment is handed in, completed, done with, is the best!

I rave about my passion for my work, i advocate for people and their emotional health and wellbeing however there is something fundamentally frustrating and terrifying about my profession.... it is not regulated. You do not have to have completed any qualification or an ounce of personal development to call yourself a counsellor or a therapist.


Shocked? So was I!

So what can we do about it?

Well there are many who are working to get this changed to ensure that the profession is regulated, that titles are protected to ensure transparency and client safety. These things take time. You can help though by spreading the word about what to look for in a counsellor/therapist.

Qualifications
Experience
CPD
Memberships
Personal Development
Boundaries
An ethical framework

Don’t be afraid to ask for the best. you deserve it!

At this point I have given up all hope of being inspirational during this time. I have pushed away all the shoulds I had at the beginning, all those plans I thought I had of things I would get done over these weeks. I found myself stressing about what I wasn’t doing rather than just being in the moment and figuring it out as I went along. I decided this week to be more kind to myself and go with the flow a bit more. Accept the little wins, recognise my productive moments and acknowledge and allow my chill and relax times too. Some days I find myself chilling more than usual and that’s allowed. Anything goes. 

I find myself wondering when this will end and hoping it’s sooner rather than later. 


I am sick of positive posts and yet I find myself posting them anyway incase they help just one person feel better. 


I am sick of posts being negative about positive posts as I take them personally and full disclosure here, I agree, I’m sick of the stupid  positive posts too.... but what else can we do? What else can I do? 


I’m sick of being bored. I’m sick of the whole thing. 


I’m also really aware of my own internal conflicts and the fact that I can flit from positive to negative, happy to sad, productive to unproductive, relaxed to an anxious wreck all on the flip of a coin. 


I hear others talking about similar feelings and I believe it’s all part of the lockdown life process. I’m sure I’ll learn something from the experience, I just don’t know what yet. 

I think it’s fair to say lockdown life has been a challenge for us all. We have all had to learn new ways of being and doing! 

I have struggled at times to find motivation and energy to do things and I’ve definitely been aware my anxieties are higher and my patience lower than usual. How my family have put up with me is beyond me?! 

I have to say speaking and sharing my feelings with others has helped me to realise how normal these feelings actually are! So if you are out there worrying about what you’re not doing or what you feel you should be doing, this is a simple message to say I see you and I got you. We are in this together shoulds and all and this is to acknowledge that some days, getting out of bed is the single greatest achievement and that is OK!