Week 4 of lockdown life

At this point I have given up all hope of being inspirational during this time. I have pushed away all the shoulds I had at the beginning, all those plans I thought I had of things I would get done over these weeks. I found myself stressing about what I wasn’t doing rather than just being in the moment and figuring it out as I went along. I decided this week to be more kind to myself and go with the flow a bit more. Accept the little wins, recognise my productive moments and acknowledge and allow my chill and relax times too. Some days I find myself chilling more than usual and that’s allowed. Anything goes. 

I find myself wondering when this will end and hoping it’s sooner rather than later. 

I am sick of positive posts and yet I find myself posting them anyway incase they help just one person feel better. 

I am sick of posts being negative about positive posts as I take them personally and full disclosure here, I agree, I’m sick of the stupid  positive posts too.... but what else can we do? What else can I do? 

I’m sick of being bored. I’m sick of the whole thing. 

I’m also really aware of my own internal conflicts and the fact that I can flit from positive to negative, happy to sad, productive to unproductive, relaxed to an anxious wreck all on the flip of a coin. 

I hear others talking about similar feelings and I believe it’s all part of the lockdown life process. I’m sure I’ll learn something from the experience, I just don’t know what yet.